I wrote this poem when I was slowly dying, going through some of the deepest church hurt, I've ever experienced in my life. Church hurt is real and its even more real when they side with your abuser while shunning you. They take in your husband still at the times girlfriend, while acting like you don't matter or exist. You have to watch them practically make out, and rub it in your face, and then leave a Apostolic service, deeply wounded, with spirits. They would shake my hand at the door, but not pray with me at the altar. Something happened in 2020 that would forever rock my family and kids, and it wasn't just Covid we went through that year.. One day I will write a book about it all. While going through two court battles that was sent straight from hell, I was looked down on, I was blamed, I was made to look like a liar. I was still being abused, manipulated and lied on, and blamed for it all, this time using court and, lets just put it this way, (wickedness in high places) to control, hurt and abuse me. I was only telling the truth and trying to protect my daughter and one day, IDK when, Truth will come to light, that I never ever once lied. NOT ONCE.
The way you treat and love people who are a part of your church matters. People are broken and hurting and trying to find healing. The way you love them, MATTERS!
They was never looking for a way out, they was looking for a way in.
When their pew is empty, will they matter then?
When their soul is lost, will a kind word you lend?
When they're drowning in their own sin, will praying for them matter then?
When their mind has destroyed them, from all the lies told about them so well,
Will you realize then, the lies that were spread were from the pits of hell??
Hands once raised in victory now placed down in defeat.
A solider, yet just another casualty in war, with no heartbeat.
A prayer warrior so determined to win the battles no matter the cost.
Now a lost soul dying, trapped inside their own mind, defeated, & lost.
Laying bloody, crying for someone to see,to reach out & notice you dying there!
Yet they just walk on by and pretend you're not there and not even to care.
As you lay on the ground, tears running down your face.
You're letting go now, yet wanting to hold onto His Saving Grace.
You feel the dark closing in, your heartbeat slowing, you are now dying.
It's a slow death, as you feel the demons fight their way in.
When their pew is empty will they matter then?
They were never looking for a way out but a way in!
©Jenn Maddox
May 11,2022
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