Carry Your Trauma Into Your Testimony

Published on 8 May 2024 at 11:02
"Carry Your Trauma Into Your Testimony"

We all have scars that life has ripped into our flesh, heart and soul. The pain tearing away at us day by day. We all have things we must overcome. I know I do! I will be the first to admit it. I'll always say the answer is "JESUS"! Backslider, no matter how far you run, He's always a step ahead preparing your way back to Him. BUT it's your actions and choice that will bring you back or take you another route.. Mercy reaches till judgement is inevitable. Get off the crutch of pain. You can't stay there forever. Yes it hurts. O how it hurts but you don't have to choose hurt, when you know the way to His healing hands!!

We have to save ourselves from this untoward generation. It's up to us, heaven or hell!?

Acts 2:38-40 KJV
Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. [39] For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call. [40] And with many other words did he testify and exhort, saying, Save yourselves from this untoward generation.

"Untoward" means perverse, crooked, morally twisted. Every individual is responsible to obey the gospel and separate himself from sinful actions

The hurt tried to bury me, the misrepresentation tried to bury me, the lies tried to bury me, the betrayal tried to bury me, the church hurt on a whole nother level tried to bury me, the pain of my past tried to bury me, but it was burying me for a time such as this. A time to be all I can be for Jesus. A time to grow past the hurt and pain. That hurt and pain only thought it was burying me. Today I have gray In my hair. I'm fixing to be 43, and I've fought the grave for this gray hair. I needed it all to be who I am today.

Could it of went a different way? Absolutely. We can change our destiny. Had I stayed in church as a teenager, my life would of folded out completely different. I wouldn't have the children I have today. The past I have today. The pains I've had to live through. It also could of turned out differnet, especially when I got addicted to needles, had it not been for the love, mercy and grace of Jesus, and my mother's prayers. I always felt them lingering around me. I lived life on the edge. I hit rock bottom and found another rock bottom. I kept choosing that pain over n over. Wether it was abusive men who I only wanted to love me the way I loved them, or it was the drugs, lifestyle I lived, etc etc.....

If you think the life of an addict is easy n they jus want to choose that over n over, you are mistaken. Most want out, but can't because of the dependency in their brain and body, why I get so angry when people say "addiction is a choice not a mental health issue." If starts out as a choice, yes, but it becomes who you are, to the point you can't live without it. At some points, I've even wanted to die. The needles, meth and morphine should of wiped my existence, but there were her prayers. Thank God if you got a praying mother!! She's fighting devils from hell, you can't even begin to imagine. I hurt my mother so much, lost in my addiction, but she never stopped praying for me. As I ripped her heart from her chest, she cried, she hurt, but she never stopped praying. I've watched my momma go through the darkest of days full of so much hurt that life has thrown at her,me being the cause of alot, and her literally having nothing compared to the blessing's of others, and still say "I don't live for God for the blessings, I live for Him, because, I love Him, and want to see Him one day." So silently she prayed and fought,no matter the pain inflicted, and still does. Today I'm a product of her prayer. I'm part of her testimony!

Esther 4:14 KJV
For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

Ringing immemorial are Mordecai's words "And who knows whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" All moments are not equal. Emergence of human greatness demands place and time, both of which can pass an opportunity can be lost never to return.

We must take opportunity to see the place and time we are placed in now, God can use it for His glory, but sin has a price. None of it  is an excuse to go the other way, but sometimes the pain is too great, that we choose the other way. It's too damaging to go on. What if Jesus had said that at the cross?? He was robed in flesh. He was hurt deeply, way worse than we could ever be, but He still took the cross for us all, for the sins that the trauma cost us.. We can let the trauma transform us or we can let it traumatize and destroy us. And I promise only few know my story of EVERYTHING I've  been forced to walk through, even now, alot being because of others, some being because of my choices, I chose to rise up despite it all. Yea I have fallen over n over. I remember in Six Mile, Bro Robertson's church, it was Bro Mike Herring I believe, phenomenal preacher, he said "you better not judge that one that falls in and out all the time, because they may jus prove you wrong one day, and be more than you can imagine. That sat with me ever since I heard it. I believe Bro Davidson has said that a mnay times as well. It hits a lil different when you are that backslider. Ask yourself "Do you really wanna keep choosing hurt, or do you want to have a a testimony out of this? Your story may not end in testimony but it may end in tragedy. Because mercy reaches till judgement is inevitable. God help us all to see and realize that the only way is You. You alone are worthy. You can take what the enemy meant for evil and turn it for good, You can take our deepest pains and turn them into scars, that will one day be a huge testimony. But we must choose you and healing over hurting and broken.

Luke 8:39 KJV
Return to thine own house, and shew how great things God hath done unto thee. And he went his way, and published throughout the whole city how great things Jesus had done unto him.

Titus 3:3-6 KJV
For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. [4] But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, [5] Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; [6] Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;

Revelation 12:11 KJV
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

Hosea 6:1 KJV
Come, and let us return unto the LORD: for he hath torn, and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up.

Psalm 107:19-20 KJV
Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses. [20] He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.

Heal, for the souls that need your testimony, to see there is hope for us all to heal, His name is Jesus.

Jeremiah 17:14 KJV
Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.

Luke 21:13 KJV
And it shall turn to you for a testimony.

Sis Jenn Maddox
Jan 23,2024
 
 
 
Jenn Maddox ♡
 
 

 

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