Sis Michelle R.

I want God to get all the glory! My prayer is that my testimony helps, uplifts, and encourages others to know HIM. . It’s been 20 years since my life has changed.

I’m an ex-drug addict, an ex-18 Street crip gang member from San Francisco, California.  I worked on the streets selling drugs and made connections to illegal underground raves.  My job was to bring people were we would sell drugs/entry fee and I would make my cut. I sold death to people and influenced them to do evil. 

“He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.” Psalm‬ ‭40:2‬.

As an ungrateful teenager I ran away from home at the age of 14, when I left my parents thought I was headed to school. I got on a plane in Florida and flew back to California. I had no idea I made the worst decision of my life. Rebellious and happy to be free I had no idea what was ahead of me. I was living on a high and didn’t know 3 years later my life would be in shambles.

At first it was fun, it was a party, it was thrilling but the Bible says “the wages on sin is death” (Romans 6:23). Lifestyle I was living was wild, I had money, drugs, and fun but life started spinning out of control quickly for me. 

As an insecure young girl I was an easy target for a predator.  A young girl desperate for love and attention. I met a man that said he loved me and I foolishly believed him.  Dysfunctional relationship doesn’t even describe it.  I was physically, mentally, and sexually abused by this man.  At the end of our relationship in his drunken rage he told me he was going to kill me. Other times he had said this and beat me bloody but the look in his eye this night sent chills up my spine. Days prior he had bought a bat as a souvenir but I hid it knowing he would beat me with it when he was mad.  He went looking for the bat that night and I knew if he found it I would be dead. I ran for the door and miraculously got away from his grip, I ran for miles still hearing his screams behind me. I hid in an old laundry mat until 3AM then headed to a friends house for help, I had blood all over my clothes. A few months later he was arrested and deported.  Last time I spoke to him was over the phone while he was in Mexico threatening me.  When I hung up I knew I’d never see him again.

I stayed in California and my life got worse…Involved in gang activity I hurt many people, did so many stupid things, the adrenaline rush of not getting caught.  I lived in a war zone where you had to always look behind your back and everyone was looking out for only themselves. Street life you had to be smart and choose a side for protection.  I lived in paranoia and fear every single day. 

Feelings of worthlessness is real…
There is a fine line between drug habit and addiction, I went too far because I wanted to numb the pain.  I lived with extreme guilt and shame, my heart was hurting, I hated who I had become.  I was chasing money and drugs, sun up to sun down.  No rest, I kept running and running but with no end, no finish line. I became a binge addict, anything I can get my hands on to get high I put in my body.

Due to my lifestyle I got arrested at 17, I was a look out for a friend that was trespassing and robbing a home. Sitting at the police station I was handcuffed to a chair and life got real for me. My high was wearing off and I got hungry and I remember asking if I could have a slice of pizza.  Policeman looked at me like with disgust and said “we don’t feed dogs.”  I know what it feels like for people to look at you like you are nothing.  I got used to those looks from others.  A few hours later my uncle bailed me out.  While I was walking home I saw a friend from a far, then suddenly I heard a car drive by and gunshots fired!  I fell to the ground trying not to get shot and as I looked up I saw gunshots go through my friends body then a vital blow to his head. Still to this day it’s a miracle this rival gang did not see me.  I heard sirens and people screaming, my friend dead on the sidewalk, I ran.

That night I had a sober moment, while sobbing I remember thinking to myself “what am I doing??!!???” Consequences of my actions were avalanching on me and the heaviness was unbearable.  So just get drunk was my answer. I called me parents in a panic because I got word people were looking to hurt me.  Rumors spread that I was involved in my friends death because I didn’t get shot.  In the gang life you can’t just “leave” I was in prison and feared for my life. I was their puppet.  Got a plane ticket to fly back to Florida.  I was afraid of everything that happened so I hid for safety and took the bus to the airport. Its a public place and no one is going to find me here. Got on the plane the next morning. 

In Florida a few months my parents moved to Arcadia, FL.  I unhappily moved with them.  When we arrived that week I got sick in bed and detoxed from all the alcohol and drugs.  I met my neighbor, Bro Johnny that invited my family and I to church.  No thank you was my first response but since I was so bored and had nothing to do I went. I remember sitting in the back of the church and shocked seeing people worship and cry. I’ve seen the same behavior when I was in the raves and people were hallucinating and dancing.  Felt something I never felt before, I didn’t know it was love, it was God reaching to my empty soul.  I’ve tried everything and I’m still empty.  I heard a voice say to me “you’ve tried everything else, try me.” I let down the walls and started repenting. In Bible study I learned how I can get saved and experience change for my life. Bible says “Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost” (Acts 2:38).  I repented for days, so thankful for an altar, then got baptized, buried the old me that was broken. I lifted my hands and the day God filled me with His Spirit, He broke every chain of addiction!??!! I spoke in tongues how the Bible said I would and experienced a supernatural infilling that rocked my world!! I never went to rehab or any drug step program, the power of the Holy Ghost delivered me instantly!!??!!  I’ve experienced many highs but nothing compares to the Holy Ghost!!! There is a place in your heart that is made only for God, no one and nothing else will fill it!!!  After experiencing for myself that God is REAL I finally stopped running after the things of this world and started running after HIM! . Thankful for the foundation I received at ACJC and for the people welcoming and opening the doors to their church to me. I am forever grateful!

God picks up people that others have thrown away and puts the Kingdom of God in them!!! I have been on a journey to heaven and I’m taking everyone I can with me.  I experienced redemptive lift in my life and I’m living the blessed life!  In my present I go to an incredible dynamic revival church The Rock Church Of Fort Myers and thankful for my Bishop Bishop R. L. Williams and Barbara Williams. Under their leadership I’ve grown tremendously and working on becoming all God has called me to be!  I have the pleasure of serving as Bible Study Development Director. I also lead our Translation Department we translate our services in Spanish, Creole, and ASL. This is my WHY, I am passionate to teach Bible studies! I’m working on my Bachelors degree in Christian Ministry with Wilson University and blessed to continue growing and becoming a redemptive leader for such a time as this!  The sky is the limit!  

It’s not how you begin this life but how you finish!