My scars remain, from the demons that tormented me mentally. But scars show a story of survival. I have way more on my legs but I will not show that at all. I just want to show others even those demons don't stand a chance, when it comes to Jesus, and the power of the Holy Ghost!!! Deliverance and a sane mind is a beautiful thing!!
This story teaches about the spirit of "cutting" self harm, and the demons that lay beneath to cause one to hurt their self and sometimes even kill themselves. A part of my testimony I have kept quite about was when I cut. When I started cutting, I was actually attempting suicide. I wanted out. Out of what my life was and had became. Out of the pain of not being loved right, being abused, being addicted, not being enough. I could go on and on as to why I wanted "out" but it all boils down to pain. Too much pain for such a young soul. I knew I couldn't leave this world with boys that needed me and I sure didn't want to go to hell. So I learned cutting was a type of relief for me. To feel the physical pain of a blade and watch as the skin ripped open, feeling like I deserved this anyways, and the blood would flow, as I cried n ripped into my skin over and over again. This is what the world will lead you to Child Of God. I was raised on a church pew and unfortunately that wasn't enough to keep me. I only thought I was bound by rules and so much non-sense at the time. The world, drugs and men, might near destroyed me and my mind! But God! I know now the beauty of the Truth. The power of the Holy Ghost and a revelation of this Truth. The standards are barriers to keep us separate from the world and they are a MUST! When you fall in love with truth and Jesus, you fall in love with holiness too, and you will love the standards that separate you, and keep you safe. Because once you get out there, there's no barriers, you can have it all and that all can take you straight to hell. And it will. Pain will destroy you from the inside out.
Mark 5:4-5 KJV
Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him. [5] And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones.
Cutting oneself is not a new issue and was here inspired by a demonically tormented mind.
Mark 5:6-9 KJV
But when he saw Jesus afar off, he ran and worshipped him, [7] And cried with a loud voice, and said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of the most high God? I adjure thee by God, that thou torment me not. [8] For he said unto him, Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit. [9] And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many.
"Unclean" means impure unclean, vicious
The repeated emphasis on being bound to chains that failed to hold him, illustrates the man's seemingly hopeless and wild condition.
"tame" means subdue
Mark 5:18-20 KJV
And when he was come into the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him. [19] Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee. [20] And he departed, and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him: and all men did marvel.
The mandate to every individual who experiences Deliverance in Salvation is to Forever tell others their story.
My story is one of abuse, pain, torment, trauma, drug addiction, and nothing but darkness. I ended up at the other end of a needle, saying "I never would." Cutting became my demon of relief. Relief of the emotional pain that tormented my mind. The physical pain of that razor, knife, whatever maybe, was far better than the emotional damage I dealt with mentally daily. Nobody gets it? O yea I do. I get it. It's a demon that wants you to harm yourself, because "you're so low, you're not worth it, you deserve it, right? A demon that will use self harm to completely take you out!! The glitter and gold you think this world is, is nothing but a covering up of a bondage so deep you may not make it out and back to God. Thank God for His mercy, grace and love because, I shouldn't be here. If you are struggling with self harm, listen to me, JESUS IS THE ANSWER!! The Holy Ghost brings deliverance! It brings freedom and Joy and Peace. This world and what you see is only a mirage to the demonic bondage, you will soon be in if you walk away. The ways of a backslider are hard!
When I say don't walk away from God this world is a demonic trap, DON'T DO IT! Be thankful for truth, not everyone knows it but there are those who hunger for it, and if you know it and are blessed to be apart of it be thankful, cherish it, fall in love with Jesus. This world is dark and it's not what you want or think it is. Put the razor/knife down, and get filled up with the Holy Ghost and see what God can do! He gives you a sane mind again. I may battle with depression and anxiety at times still but nothing like the girl I use to be. And He will do it for you too if you let Him. You have to want Him more than the pain. The pain can become an addiction as well. We learn how to live with it and we learn how to mask it with drugs, razors,or whatever it maybe. He's a pain taker, if you want Him more than the pain!!
Your testimony is your power to overcome!
Revelation 12:11 KJV
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
Sis Jenn Maddox
Add comment
Comments